- matt chia's -
poetry, prose + commentary
poetry, prose + commentary
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Chapter XIII
It was a noisy affair at dinner that night. For one, Cheryl, Muthu and Hu Ping were all rejoicing in their acceptance into the team that they were being louder and even more raucous than usual. Their tryout stories were being told and retold, and finally got so imaginative that when Barnabas, the last one who got to dinner, heard them, he was made to believe that Muthu had dangled from his broom and used his legs to kick the Quaffle into the goal, all the while avoiding a freak Bludger. Obviously, the first thing Barnabas did when he heard the story was to snort into his pumpkin juice.
Cheryl, who was sitting beside him, was just complaining how her shirt had been stained orange by the juice when everyone else stopped talking and looked behind her.
She didn’t even need to turn to see who it was. Rolling her eyes, she said, “What do you want?�
“Getting better at sensing my presence, I see,� Yee Tien said.
“Why don’t you just... go away,� Matt said sweetly.
Yee Tien ignored him. “So. You all got in the team. First match in April against us, eh? Well, there’s no need to play it – ‘cause you’ll lose.�
“I don’t know how exactly we can lose when playing against a bunch of losers, you know,� Muthu replied. The rest cheered.
“That would be you, I’m afraid,� Yee Tien said coolly, her eyes scanning the table. “Idiots... lamers... Mudbloods,� she said snidely.
Sunny whipped round, her face red, right hand clenching her wand tightly – but before she could do anything, Yee Tien was gone.
“It’s okay,� Cheryl said comfortingly, putting an arm on Sunny’s shoulder.
“Yeah, so what if you have Muggle parents? You’re still loads better than her,� Hu Ping said fiercely, his voice full of loathing.
“I just hate it when people call me that...� Sunny said quietly. Suddenly she stood up and went off out of the Hall, head down. Rachel and Yihui quickly put down their forks and spoons and followed her.
“I didn’t know she had Muggle parents,� Minyu said after the three were out of earshot. She looked deeply concerned.
“She’s hidden it for ages,� Hu Ping said quietly.
They remained silent, their happy mood gone. They were just finishing off their carrot cake when they heard the booming voice of Professor Smurf.
“All, we have a new addition to the staff at Hogwarts,� he said, a peculiar look of disgust and weariness on his face.
They looked up and down the staff table, and immediately they all saw him – no, her – okay, it.
It was a person, a very short and squat person. It was so short it appeared to be sitting when it was actually standing. It had very toad-like features – beady eyes, a flat nose, a chin that jutted out prominently, even a slightly green tinge on the skin (though perhaps that was just Matt’s imagination). Cheryl half-expected it to open its mouth and have a 2-metre tongue fly out. However, she, like the others, couldn’t exactly figure out this androgynous person's sexual orientation.
“Asexual, maybe?� Barnabas said, his mouth open.
“Transsexual, more like,� Muthu said, eyes staring.
“No, neutered,� Eunice said firmly.
They all laughed.
“Miss Ee here will be our school’s caretaker,� Professor Smurf continued. “This means she will be in charge of keeping all of the school’s possessions in order. She will also be helping Professor Molekiw maintain discipline.�
Everyone groaned. Kiw, at the staff table, flinched. A shadow of a smile crossed Professor Smurf’s face, but he continued.
“I am sure all of you will do your best to cooperate with her and Professor Molekiw, and keep up our discipline standards,� he ended.
“Well, so now we have yet another person to watch out for,� Yi Fan said sadly. He was always being caught for his untied shoelaces and long fingernails.
They all smiled wry smiles.
“She’s so like a toad!� Cheryl remarked.
“No, she’s an alien,� Barnabas said.
They all turned to him. “Why?� Minyu said curiously.
“I’ve heard my father talk about her before – she used to work at the Ministry,� Barnabas replied. A smile flickered across his face. “Her full name is Miss Ee Tee.�
----------
The next morning, they were all trooping down from the Griffindoor common room to breakfast. No sooner had they exited the room than they heard the unmistakable sound of whistling. Muthu threw out both his hands in front of the group (a protective gesture, though it wouldn’t have really worked because he was so thin and couldn’t have blocked anything anyway) and looked round cautiously.
“A ghost?� Rachel enquired.
“No... doesn’t really sound as if it’s coming from anywhere, does it,� Cheryl said rationally.
“It doesn’t matter where it comes from, as long as you get moving,� an extremely high-pitched voice said, to their left. Miss Ee was standing (or is it squatting?) there, hands on her w i d e hips, her bosom practically bouncing along in rhythm with her gait. She was so fat and so short she was waddling.
They all stared at her, astonished. Yi Fan had abandoned all pretense and was looking closely at her, his mouth wide open.
“Oh, I know I’m pretty,� and at this Yi Fan promptly drew back and mimed retching with his back turned to Miss Ee, who was actually blushing, “but do get a move on. This means you are late for breakfast. And this means that I will take 5 points from Griffindoor.�
A wave of angry retorts ensued.
“Each,� Miss Ee continued, her voice dangerously quavering. They all threw her looks of loathing before turning and going down the stairs to the Great Hall. Behind them Miss Ee called out, “Am I really that pretty?�
The guys blanched. They hurried off.
----------
At four that afternoon, the Griffindoors made their way down to the Quidditch pitch for their first practice. The sun was blazing and it took no more than five minutes in that heat to be covered in sweat. However, the team still soldiered on with their practice as the others watched in the shade of the stands.
“Well, I’m gonna release the balls now,� Desmond called out from the ground as his teammates hovered above him and shouted their okays. Within five seconds, they had started, all four balls a blur – the red Quaffle, two black Bludgers, and the almost invisible golden Snitch.
Cheryl was Seeker this time, so the first thing she did was to get higher off the ground on the Cleansweep Seven provided by the school. She was afforded a bird’s-eye view of the practice, which was actually quite entertaining. She saw the spectacular saves Desmond made; the neat passes between Yihui, Sunny and Eunice; and Muthu and Hu Ping trying their best as first-time Beaters. She laughed out loud when she saw Muthu try and hit a Bludger and miss, hitting thin air instead. The others watching, including Matt, Rachel, Barnabas, Yi Fan and Minyu, were apparently having a good time watching as well, laughing and talking so loud Cheryl could hear them 20 metres up.
Suddenly Minyu called out, “Cheryl! Just beside you!�
Cheryl whipped round and snatched at thin air. The Snitch had been too quick for her. She could still see it though, speeding off towards the goalposts. Streaking off after it, she let out a whoop as the wind ruffled her long hair (it did obscure her vision a bit, apart from making her look like someone from a horror movie). She nearly hit Eunice, who had to double over forwards to let Cheryl fly over her, and nearly impaled Sunny with her broom. Thankfully Sunny had the agility to move upwards at the last moment.
She reached the goalposts – and found that the Snitch had disappeared yet again. Slowly, she went higher up on her broom to try and spot it again. She soon realized, however, that something was missing below her. Hu Ping and Muthu weren’t doing anything. They were scratching their heads while holding their Beater’s clubs.
Cheryl pieced two and two together too late.
Wham.
The pain overwhelmed her as she fell off her broom. The Bludger had hit her in the small of her back, though, judging by the throbbing she now felt, she hadn’t broken any bones. She was, however, holding on to her broom only by her arms.
“You alright?� Hu Ping shouted, as he maneuvered his broom so that she could get on behind him.
Cheryl nodded, face white. It had been a shock. Though the pain was already fading.
When she got off Hu Ping’s broom and onto ground again, her friends and teammates all rushed up to her. Their faces were all shades of ash.
“We thought you’d fall off or something,� Minyu said, eyes wide as she examined Cheryl’s back.
“It’s okay, I held on at the last minute,� Cheryl said. “Though it did hurt like hell.� She groaned softly.
“Someone having problems holding on to their broom, perhaps?� A slimy voice sneered. Zhu’en had arrived, with a whole posse of Slitherings, and judging by his remark, he had seen what had just happened. Cheryl cursed inwardly. Now she would be the victim of relentless persecution.
“If you can even call that a broom,� Yee Tien, who was standing next to Zhu’en, said. Malicious glee was painted all over her face.
“Shut up, the both of you,� Muthu cut in, his mouth drawn into a very thin line. His face was getting blacker by the second.
“Oh, and how can we forget – such ineffective Beaters,� Zhu’en continued, without letting up the sneering.
Cheryl heard Sunny whisper behind. The Griffindoors’ eyes flickered upwards. A pause.
“The joke’s on you,� Desmond said calmly.
The Slitherings looked at each other, clearly unsure of what was going on. “What?�
“The joke’s on you,� Cheryl repeated softly.
Yee Tien’s lip curled. “I see that Bludger has somehow muddled up your brain,� she said.
“Oh, but the Bludgers like your brain more, I assure you,� Rachel piped up brightly. The Griffindoors’ eyes flickered upwards once again, and the smiles never left their faces as they observed the two Bludgers hovering directly above the Slitherings.
“Goodbye,� Cheryl said.
“A pleasure to meet you,� Matt added.
Wham.
Comments:
mmmmmaaaaaattttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you RAWK MAN!!!!WAHAHA...mai beloved expapa..wahhaha..bahx...write longer man!!!wahahah...we rawk too!!!wahahaha...bahx...oh no..gutsby rawks too!!!!wahahah..bahx..
# posted by 
: 9:23 PM
: 9:23 PM
a msg from serhua!
hey daddiE!
'relentless persecution'.. lol koC
haha aniwae ur storie is damn funnie!
barnabas's comments are alwaes so super amusing! lol
cuz it's exactly wad he'd haf said.. lol..
wonder wad he'll do to u if he reads tis one dae.. lol
rock on!
hey daddiE!
'relentless persecution'.. lol koC
haha aniwae ur storie is damn funnie!
barnabas's comments are alwaes so super amusing! lol
cuz it's exactly wad he'd haf said.. lol..
wonder wad he'll do to u if he reads tis one dae.. lol
rock on!
# posted by : 7:02 PM
: 7:02 PM
bahx nonsense hahaz.. i not that skinny lor hhaz.. bahx n my muthu is not a thin line hahza.. add some conflict la.. like yeetian being murdered lolz bahx haha
muthu
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muthu
# posted by : 4:24 PM
: 4:24 PM